If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
