Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Who died my cat blue again?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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