We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
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