Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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