evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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