the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
