I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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