Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize