He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
