I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
