what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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