Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize