Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Randomize
