He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
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I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
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Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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