So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Randomize
