i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
