I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
