the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize