what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
