Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Randomize
