I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
