May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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