Where did you get a picture of my penis
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
