He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
