My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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