Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
