The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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