I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
