I CAN MOONWALK!
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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