I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize