So drunk, too bad you don't want this
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
