I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
