i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
