Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
