it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
