Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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