You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
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