i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
