We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
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