I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
He? As in you personified your dick?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
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