Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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