she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
