Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize