And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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