Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
She even gives head with a lisp.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Randomize
