i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Randomize
