god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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