if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
