Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
