Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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