what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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