i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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