It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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