you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
