u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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