I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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