remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
