Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Randomize
