I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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