I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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