So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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