Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
