Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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