You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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